17. Shifting The Blame

“It’s a great feeling
 To say
 I’m sorry —
 And we still
 Love each other.”
— William L. Coleman


I thought it was impossible to drive over a bird, until I ran over one. I thought it was impossible to hurt my husband’s feelings – he didn’t seem to have many – until I callously snapped at him one evening and saw the look that appeared on his face.

It wasn’t a big deal, really. He was intruding into my space – discouraging me from going where I wanted to go, trying to prevent me from doing what I wanted to do. I’m very sure I didn’t say anything to him that he had not heard before. But at that particular moment, his eyes told me that he’d dropped his guard – that invisible, scathe-resistant armor that he usually wore (the façade I was used to dealing with) – and my callous words had pierced his heart. In all of our life together, I’d never felt compelled to learn how to mend it. So I panicked and asked myself, “What should I do now?”

Remember. (Apparently the Spirit had seen the whole thing!)


Yes. Remember:

… his look of eagerness as you planned your wedding day.

 … his look of adoration as you walked hand-in-hand as husband and wife.

 … his look of concern when you were told that a Caesarean birth was necessary.

 … his look of joy when he held his babies for the first time.

 … his look of accomplishment each time he finishes a project.

 … his look of glee when he teases a nephew or niece.

 … his look of pride when Lisa sang her first solo.

 … his look of encouragement as Jonathan was learning to water ski.

 … his look of sorrow when his grandfather died.

 … his look of fulfillment when he returned from mission trips to Mexico.

 … his look of mischief when he finally agreed to buy a puppy.

 … his look of surprise when he was honored as a school volunteer.

 … his look of sincerity when he says, “You’re beautiful. I love you.”

 … his look of aggravation when he offered his protection and you refused it.

Is that what I did?

Yes, that’s what you did.

But it’s hard to say, “I’m sorry,” when you’re not practiced at it…. That is, since I didn’t make use of the many opportunities that have presented themselves over the years…. I mean, it’s really challenging to tell someone I love – but who I’m extremely irritated with … okay, my bad.

I really was sorry. And I told him so.


“I acknowledged my sin to you,
and my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

(Psalm 32:5)



Are you practiced at saying, “I’m sorry”? Is there someone in your life who needs your forgiveness … maybe an apology as well? Think about it – and follow through. Then God will forgive the iniquity of your sin. But He won’t if you don’t! (Find it in Matthew 6:15.)